“I don’t see anybody on the horizon, except for Matt Salmon, throwing their hat in the ring intending to do more than paddle water.”

The major feature of this wood is a deep pit, variously described as “this abhorrèd pit” (2.3.98); a “subtle hole … / Whose mouth is covered with rude-growing briers” (2.3.198–199); an “unhallowed and bloodstainèd hole” (210); a “den” into which one can “look down” and “see a fearful sight of blood and death” (215–216); “a detested, dark, blood-drinking pit” (224); a “fell devouring receptacle, / As hateful as Cocytus’ misty mouth” (the mouth of the river of hell; 235–236); a “gaping hollow” (249); and so on.

Next, consider Hell Three. Hell Three includes both Hell One and Hell Two.

We have always known that the world is a bad place. It appears that it may be an evil place as well.

In their gold-embossed surcoats and velvet mantles lined in ermine, their slashed and parti-colored tunics embroidered with family crest or verses or a lady-love’s initials, their hanging scalloped sleeves with colored linings, their long pointed shoes of red leather from Cordova, their rings and chamois gloves and belts hung with bells and trinkets, their infinity of hats – puffed tam-o’shanters and furred caps, hoods and brims, chaplets of flowers, coiled turbans, coverings of every shape, puffed, pleated, scalloped, or curled into a long tailed pocket called a liripipe – they were beyond imitation.

“Average” for a blue whale penis, however, is difficult to gauge given that the penis is unlikely to be able to be measured during sexual intercourse.

Then it would be “0 orgasms better than being turned into a whale,” and a normal day would be “-400 orgasms from the whale-day”.

Paris Mint spokesman Guillaume Robic said the chocolate factory was already up and running and had been producing 250 chocolate Father Christmas figurines, each with a butt plug, each day for the past few days.

“Michael is the sort of person that if you take away his money he short-circuits,” Rourke says. “He is a man of honor.”

It must be a peculiar pleasure to be able to kill one’s father and choose another.