Let’s compare what the UCLA student has lost and what he has gained. Here’s Oberon addressing Puck in A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

Once I sat upon a promontory
And heard a mermaid on a dolphin’s back
Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath
That the rude sea grew civil at her song
And certain stars shot madly from their spheres
To hear the seamaid’s music

To which UCLA’s junior English faculty respond: Ho-hum. Here’s the description of a University of California postcolonial studies research grant: The “theoretical, temporal, and spatial intersections of postcoloniality and postsocialism will arrive at a novel approach to race, gender, and sexuality in present-day geopolitics.” To which UCLA’s junior English faculty respond: That’s more like it!

I wish I could say this was a parody of conservative culture war writing, but no

Let’s suppose that human H is Tom Carmody from New York, and evil entity E is Egbert, an UFAI which will torture puppies unless Tom buys the complete works of Robert Sheckley.

All of which means that you put off the moment when you have to make your six year old child bankrupt.

Consider the predicament of a centipede who starts thinking about which leg to move and winds up going nowhere.

Nevertheless, neither Kellogg nor any of the others who supported him on this question ever suggested how many times a man might have a sexual climax before he was in danger of becoming a woman.

In every area of academic and more practical study, we can find simple examples that on introspection grow into unspeakable “creatures.”

Some years ago I was trying to decide whether or not to move to Harvard from Stanford. I had bored my friends silly with endless discussion. Finally, one of them said, “You’re one of our leading decision theorists. Maybe you should make a list of the costs and benefits and try to roughly calculate your expected utility.” Without thinking, I blurted out, “Come on, Sandy, this is serious.”

(from this essay)

Most Christian atheists believe that God never existed, but there are a few who believe in the death of God literally.

The Big Man rants about crumb cake and a local crumb cake that owns a small grocery store.