Anonymous asked: Have you ever committed a felony?
Nope. But I’ve done stuff that counts. In seventh grade, my teacher told us we had to write a fake paper on, I forget it, some sort of “organized crime” (vaguely defined) with the idea that we were going to use real papers from the class as “data.” So I wrote down a bunch of rules about what you could and couldn’t say on a given topic, and then had this pseudo-data guy (actually a girl) who described the results of various prediction markets and stuff, and we all did this for like five minutes each. At one point he asked me if I had ever bought something and I said no, and he asked me if I had ever bought anything and I said no, and he asked me if I had and I said yes. And then we had a long talk about why I had and I had not bought something, etc., etc.
This all occurred two years before I actually became interested in crime, at which point I was (still) convinced that any sort of impulse to buy and sell was some sort of psychological disease. This was the time when everyone was talking about how “addiction” was all over the news, and everyone I knew who wasn’t deeply into the topic was tightly controlled by a therapist or a partner. But at age seven, I decided that whatever the hell a compulsion thing was, it was cool and I wanted to be a part of it, so I started asking my parents if I could buy junk food for me and to bring it over to the house. And this is how I learned about the concept of a “capitalist economist,” which is how I learned about the concept of “purchasing behavior,” which is how I learned about the concept of “buying and selling,” which were the only real concepts in the world. Most of my life.
