In last night’s dream, I went to some sort of very “important” and “official” lecture on the history of comic books, which was supposed to last for something like 3 hours.  A bunch of big-name comics authors were there in the audience, including Dave Sim.  When the lecturer started their Powerpoint slides, Dave Sim just started … talking, from his seat in the audience.  The lecturer didn’t want to tell him to stop, because he was an “important comics figure,” and telling him to shut up would have been both rude and not in the spirit of the event.  But he just kept talking, and the Powerpoint slides started autoplaying, and Dave Sim just extemporized something to say about each of them.

So what ended up happening was that Dave Sim gave a three-hour nonstop monologue while everyone sat around awkwardly.  Most people left at some point before the end, but for some reason (related to some other aspect of the dream plot) I stayed for the whole thing.

The only thing I remember about the content of the monologue was Dave Sim saying “now, I know it may seem both excessive and tangential to devote an entire section of this lecture to criticizing women’s handbags, but I think you’ll see in the end how it ties into my broader points about comics … ”  (At the time, the thing about this that struck me as most strange was that he was clearly making the lecture up as he went along, and hence it didn’t have anything that could be described as pre-defined “sections.”)

Don’t remember much of last night’s dream, but I do remember a bit where someone accused me of writing a character who was obviously a “rip-off” or “expy” of Toriel from Undertale, in a “we’re onto your tricks, Rob” tone, and I just sat there trying to figure out which character they could possibly be talking about

the talon

aprilwitching:

aprilwitching:

wait ok

before i feel too bad

i was gonna tell this story in a video bc i suspect itd be way funnier that way but my throats shot and idk if i will still remember this dream clearly later on, so:

this morning, just before i woke up, i had a dream i got purse-snatched while standing at the bus stop in a town i used to live in

i whirled around and saw the purse thief trying to sneak away

he was this tiny, weird-looking older guy– actually, he was p. much danny devito, wearing a weirdly tight lime green t-shirt, but i didnt recognize him as danny devito in my dream, so– i was like, “wtf a gnome is making off w my bag heck no” and i sorta lunged forward and grabbed him by the shoulder

he shook me off w surprising strength, pulled a knife– not a dangerous knife, a butter knife– out from…somewhere…started waving it menacingly at me, and shouting “how dare you! how dare you girl! you have interrupted me in my work. prepare to face the wrath of…THE TALON! you have angered The Talon!”

The Talon was apparently like his special crime name or something; in my dream i just automatically understood this fact and i guess maybe he was like a semi-well known crime guy bc i felt pretty dang intimidated right about then, although that mightve been the (butter) knife being waved at my face

so then i started apologizing and like trying to flee the encounter, i offered him the cash money in my wallet if hed just forget the whole thing and let me keep the rest of my stuff, i wouldnt mention him to anyone, i said

but he just would not calm down or back off

“its too late!” he said, and he stuck the butter knife between his teeth like a pirate in a movie. then he started doing…ok this is the bit where i wish i was acting it out for you bc its hard to describe. he started doing kind of these SLOW MOTION KUNG-FU MOVES in a circle around me. not actually touching me or moving to attack me in any way. just circling, mostly in an awkward crouch, and doing stuff with his arms. it wasnt even like kung-fu per se….what i mean is, it was clearly recognizable as the sort of thing little kids do when they have never taken a martial arts class of any kind but are pretending they know kung-fu/karate/whatever on the playground. and i was getting super freaked out by this, but the thing is, it was the specific kind of freak out i associate with, like, extreme embarrassment or awkwardness, not with being attacked or in physical danger or anything

and it wasnt on The Talons behalf i was still kinda impressed by him i think

it was bc id suddenly realized that this was, like. a specific type of semi-common social interaction that there were specific conventions or protocols for and i had no idea what to do. id just forgotten. it was like, anyone else wouldve known how to engage with The Talon at that point and fight him in a socially acceptable way so that, win or lose, she could get it over with and they could both just go home. but i was clueless, and i knew i was being super rude by making him keep circling me doing slow-mo fake kung-fu like that, and that he was prob. just getting more and more pissed off, but i COULDNT REMEMBER WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. and i couldnt ADMIT i didnt know what i was supposed to do, either! The Talon might think i was a freak, or just amazingly pathetic!! it was a real problem. i was still agonizing over it when i woke up but im relieved i never got around to actually fighting The Talon anyway

its time to reblog THE TALON again >:3

newer followers, im proud to introduce you to the single most hilarious anxiety dream of my entire life (at least, that i remember and that’s been recorded on the internet)

(”your brain would have to work really hard to top that shit”– fer)

(via aprilwitching-deactivated201808)

All I remember about last night’s dream was that I was trying to explain string theory to someone (note: I know almost nothing about string theory), and they had some confusing philosophical objection that went something like “but the fundamental units of reality cannot be oscillations, because oscillation cannot be an ontological primitive unit, there must be a substance which oscillates,” and they kept pushing that point for what seemed like an hour

until finally at some point I said “no, there are these strings, and they oscillate” and the person was like “ohhh, now I get it.  That’s fine”

• (Last night's dream as described to Esther on Gchat)
• me: i dreamed about going to a wizard-themed kid's camp (as an adult??) two years in a row, and how it was great the first time but horrible the second time
• me: and how i complained about people to this like it was some scandal that should be publicized
• [...]
• Esther: Anyway, tell me about the wizard camp
• me: it was in the middle of nowhere, you had to ride in this big bus for hours to get there
• me: and then the camp involved the counselors pretending they were wizards / witches and that you were hiking to "magical places"
• me: the first time i went there, they were really good at role-playing this and it was really fun and everywhere we went was beautiful
• me: the second time, there were different counselors, and they were all jerks, and the two main ones were having a shouting match about something on the bus ride there
• me: then for some reason they made us leave everything we had brought on the bus. i rushed back at the last minute and the bus drivers were nice and let me get my backpack full of stuff, but then the counselors were mad about this and punished me for it by making me carry it at all times and never put it down
• me: everywhere we went was dirty, the counselors were very half-assed about the wizard role-playing, and at one point we were near a lake and these huge waves appeared and threatened to drown us
• me: later, i was in my old college cafeteria telling everyone about how the wizard camp had become terrible and everyone should know about this

My dream last night, on the other hand, was not very interesting – just that a guy I know from the internet (not on tumblr) came to visit me IRL and stayed with me for around a week.  The main distinctive quality of the dream was that it felt extremely realistic, including the sense of an entire week passing, so that it was very disorienting when I woke up – the notion that none of the dream’s events had happened felt “too weird to believe” for a little while.

junulafizikisto:

Had a dream last night that I was at a university where all papers, no matter the discipline, were published in a Socratic dialogue a la Galileo’s “Dialogue concerning the two chief world systems”; basically every paper was a tumblr chat post trying to convince the reader of its truth. Except for one guy, who was some kind of rebellious social theory major or grad student who wore a black leather jacket and looked like Steve Hofstetter. He wrote long incomprehensible theses in black leatherbound books he somehow spread all over the campus (on the ground, in trees, etc.) and justified himself on the basis that the university’s dialogue format was “atomizing” thought, or cutting it up into discontinuous bits that could not be said to form a whole. He claimed all of the universities work was “dissected” and I think also used the word “circumcised”. After reading one of his books (my grandmother was on this campus and handed it to me for some reason) I went to try and convince him that since there seem to be fundamentally discrete quantities in physics, that the universe was already “atomized” and all of these works simply reflect that. I couldn’t find him, but I stumbled into a giant freezer, where, at this bizarro university, professors will apparently use big sheets of frost on the wall as whiteboards, and spraypaint or use a watergun with colored water to write on them. I found an extremely irate professor who had done an intricate drawing of the male reproductive system only to have Mr Rebellious Social Theory Guy come along and carve the penis out into relief, standing out on the scraped-down surface of the ice. The professor knew exactly who had done it, and explained to me that “this is just who he is”. We destroyed the frost wall, only to discover a literal locker behind it, with various knickknacks in deep-freeze. At this point my real-life roommate showed up and took some weird meat pudding out of it and commented “my brother sent me this from Afghanistan”. At this point the dream shifted tracks.

(via squidwardsnowden-deactivated201)

In last night’s dream, I got on a fictitious subway line in New York which went far out beyond the city limits.  I had never taken it that far before, and decided to do so, to “expand my horizons.”  The train eventually moved above ground – not a subway anymore – and the journey was gorgeous, exhilarating, picturesque.  The train moved astonishingly fast, and many miles of sun-dappled wheat fields (?) sped by.  Through the window I watched the sun set over a huge body of water.  The train sped on into the evening.

At last I decided I should probably get off and head back.  I got off at a stop not associated with any sort of station – instead, I somehow ended up on the side of a narrow road densely lined with trees, lit by the last rays of sun.  I was very, very far from home, near some rural town.  A middle-aged woman was standing nearby, and I asked her how to catch the subway back.  She laughed.  “There are no trains going in that direction,” she explained.

We chatted about how I might get back.  She was funny and likable, and we talked for a very long time, but she could offer no constructive help.  We talked about the concept of walking back to my apartment.  It would take many days; after all, the train journey had taken hours even at breathtaking speed.  The woman seemed optimistic nonetheless.  She suggested that I could live off of berries, and, when I got thirsty, “lie back and let the rain fall into my mouth.”  I did not think this sounded like a good plan.

Finally, help arrived: somehow tumblr user snarp was summoned to drive me back home.  I was very thankful for her help, yet somehow was unable to stop myself from haranguing her, for the whole long journey, about my dissatisfaction with the His Dark Materials series.  Eventually, the very force of my tirade somehow generated a set of fantastical weather conditions – persistent ball lightning crackling across the sky, strange occult winds – which made it difficult to navigate our way through the night.