- someone: the classics are so refined
- diogenes: i'm gonna throw a chicken at plato and then i'm gonna reward myself by whacking it in public
- vase painters: how many dicks do you think are enough? at least 5
- aristophanes: you need 3 fart soundboards to perform this play properly
- lucian: the moon is full of gay people, anyway let's argue about whether sleeping with girls or boys is better
- catullus: i want to make out infinity times with my girlfriend
- the entire roman senate: ostensibly we are a respectable body but actually we are a preschool full of man-sized babies
- ovid: haha then what ;)
- horace: i fucking hate this goddamn tree also hey wanna hear about a wet dream i had
- martial: you're hot but you queef too much so i don't want to have sex with you
- someone: such elegance
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