Someone recommended I try this to someone who smelled like they wanted to die. Why does that happen? I checked my mobile phone and there was an SOS text from my partner. If I’d known this perfume would actually work, I probably would’ve bought more, because this is absolutely amazing. If I knew that, I probably would’ve bought everything that comes close. This smells so clean and classy and warm and feminine, like the perfect perfume for a soft-spoken thirtysomething woman whose professional life consists of calling this number and writing back “Just wanted to say how much I love you.” If I can breathe, I should be able to smell this, but no, the ozone is shielding my nasal cavities.
I used to smell like roses when I wore perfume, but not anymore. It’s not that I grew up; it’s that I realized that I can no longer smell rose petals, because I’m wearing perfume now. I am the perfume.
Yes, there is a system of point rankings in perfume reviews that allows you to sort through fragrance oils by smell, allowing you to determine the high, medium, and low points of fragrance oils. One could obtain this system by omitting a single possible point, which is exactly what I did. Also, I scored perfume oils according to, as I put it, “lots of stuff in there about how even when a perfume isn’t killing me it’s still a nice smell to have.” (And “lots of people enjoying the scent” as well).
In no particular order:
1. Ambergris - “Ambergris, which is made from raw fish bladders, is a complex, rare, and naturally resinous floral aroma.”
2. Apertif of Moi - “The essential oils of thirty-four species of verbena, wrapped in sandalwood. A la Firmenich. And the haunting chant: ‘Apertif of Moi is a woman’s perfume.’”
3. Azalea by Haus of Gloi - “Azalea is the vital force of the human female. The essence of every woman who ever lived and each woman to come after.”
4. Carina’s Lace - “Charmed and fragrant.”
5. Chez Mortar & Pestle - “A scent of like the life in this kitchen.”
6. Clarion by Danincel - “Essentially lemon cake, with a creamy vanilla accord.”
7. De Jasmin - “Called El Dorado for a reason. Ambergris/amber and vanilla - this is deep.”
8. Eos by L'Oréal - “Apple and vanilla with a touch of chamomile.”
The Top 10 Most Epic Muggle Eats
Fifty is a big number, but you won’t get tired of reading these Top Ten Elegies. It starts on page 20, for those of you who wish to go that far.
1. Vegetarian sliders: An entire book could be written on the lives and works of Mother Teresa. It’s obvious, it’s not complicated, it’s spiritual but it’s not sacred, it’s functional but it’s non-attached to any community and so on… The religious do not get to make up anything. Even what they do would be in the same league as the humanists who volunteer to put water in a hot water bottle. It’s the non-religious who just eat vegetarian sliders, thank you.
2. Atheist students not attending class: They’re easier to get. You can get “intelligent design” students, and then never show them any of the evidence. You don’t want them in class. So you choose an art form that is, at best, a den of scoundrels. (That is, teach them nothing)
3. Missing limbs: Imagining that one human limb is missing… that’s a powerful experience. It’s also not so much a mystery as an image that enters your mind. (That’s a different kind of effect, which is not science.) Imagining one limb not being there is more disturbing, because it sounds like there is an answer to the mystery. Imagining one limb being missing, however, doesn’t cause your brain to dismiss the whole thing as a lie.
4. You’re willing to put up with an unkind word: In “It doesn’t pay to care” or “Some truths are just so obvious” or “It’s easier to be depressed than cynical”, you are better off thinking, “These people don’t have the emotional capacity to put up with me.” But in the list below, you will also find a few noble and nice-seeming people who are more than happy to make yourself happy.
5. You’re willing to enjoy ridiculous amounts of cake: Many, many other people find that real cake too unpleasant to consume. They’d prefer, instead, to have one more cake than they could eat in their lifetime. It’s a much more interesting existence, for them, than having to consume all the cake they’ve been given.
6. Students who never study: Study. Don’t study. Don’t bother to study. Don’t bother to read through all the books that you’re given. Don’t complain that you can’t read through the book. Don’t waste another hour.
7. Curiosity killed the cat: There are a lot of kids who want to know about the existence of Wizarding Brains. Why would someone do that? Because they want to play with Harry Potter-looking objects or try to do “the impossible”, or just because it’s a great idea. It doesn’t seem like a particularly caring and generous motive. Curiosity is not selfish. It’s not wanting to do the work to make something happen, to see a result that you can get for yourself. Curiosity is why you’re interested in anything in the first place. Curiosity is the point from which all others are merely observations or substitutes. If you have no desire to see Harry Potter-looking objects - no desire to make it happen to make it happen - if your sole motive is just for the fun of it - it doesn’t matter what the answer is, and it doesn’t matter what you learn. It doesn’t matter whether Harry Potter-looking objects exist or don’t exist, because that’s not what you’re after.
8. Danger: Did you know that a potential Evil Overlord could theoretically invent a spell that let’s every wizard temporarily turn into a rat? Someone could just ask Harry Potter-looking objects to serve as rat bait!
9. You, the reader: No matter what you think you know about the universe, I suggest you first listen to something that’s been turned into an epic poem. (Tune in, if you haven’t done so already.) That’s what I call a pure delight. And if you need a way to channel your inner reader… well, that should come with practice.
10. Failure isn’t always failure: Sometimes there are options. Sometimes there are ways to avoid problems. If you read this list, if you do what’s told, you can do things that aren’t always failures, can be done in many cases, and might not have all failed.
And it shouldn’t matter what anyone tells you: There’s no one right answer to life’s questions, and asking the wrong question is a crime punishable by death.
Edited to add: Some people have pointed out that I mentioned a problem where a wizard didn’t know that there was a problem. It’s not clear to me that I should have suggested that someone who couldn’t find out
“Tell me about your particular interests in scaring the children,” said Hermione.
“Really? Oh, I suppose I could mention my preference for things that squeak and squeal, or my particular attraction to spiders. Or those musky-smelling things.”
“Your initial interest in spider silk?”
“Yes.”
“Is it one of those things you’ve tried to avoid since you were a child?”
“Ah, not such a particular bone of contention then, is it? I mean, I was far too young to study at Hogwarts myself, if that’s a valid area of concern to mention.”
“I see. Well, I was just thinking, Hermione, that I could always tell when someone was running from a Death Eater, not to panic, just recognize the telltale scent. But I’d have to test it on myself before trying that one out. It might be wise to ask for the name of someone you know well before you test your senses for that kind of thing. And Hermione, you seem to be trying to do something about bullying, but who do you think is being bullied, and why?”
Hermione frowned. “Yeah, I know that!”
Harry leaned forward. “You’re probably right. So it’s up to you now, then, to tell us the purpose of this experiment. And that, Hermione, is a very complicated question to answer. Especially when it involves completely different activities, and some of them involve decidedly adult-looking adults. You’ve got to start with a core concept. Something you know. Tell us about that concept - not just the plan for telling it to the other Ravenclaws, but tell us what your idea is about what your concept is. Even in a very slightly more adult way. Tell us about the first time you understood something about what your concept is.”
Hermione stared blankly at Harry.
Harry nodded, and spoke softly. “One of my favorite stories is that of Frodo and Gollum. Frodo wandlessly stroked Gollum’s fur, and then the two of them made a deal. Frodo gave Gollum enough to eat, and Gollum was only supposed to have to speak to tell Frodo of his
a fun fact about me, the very attractive man called rob who is definitely writing this post, is that i have the cutest face in the world
The Silicates also taught her how to look aesthetic while kneeling in a corner for long periods of time, a pastime that topped her list of stupid tasks.
Review of Haptic Vengeance
The first writer to attempt a script was Barry Morrow, who’d won an Oscar for Rain Man. He wrote a kind of existential road trip with Mario as a smart older brother and Luigi as his naive savant sibling. It sounded so familiar that production staff nicknamed it “Drain Man”.
Suppose I went into a room with a straw that is equally thick at both ends. You have an axiom that I don’t know. It might be “No-one who always eats 100,000 calories a day, even if they go on a diet, will ever be obese,” and so on.
I then put this straw on the floor and ask you to pick up the straw that is also at the same height as the straw on the floor, and sit on it. You do as I tell you and pick up the straw that is at the same height as the straw on the floor. You then put the straw on the floor, and sit down on the floor.
sleepnoises asked:
i was just wondering the other day if you were still following me! (and did not use the resources at my disposal to find the answer!) wanted to medium-recommend the latest robert jackson bennett, Foundryside! it's a little tiny bit eldritch iirc. best wishes!!
Thanks! I keep meaning to read another one of his books – I’ll try that one.